अनोठेर इयर DOWN

i log on the internet and i see everyone is hoping for a better year ahead. Was it that bad the last year.. have u forgotten the crisis in 2009.. may be some of us wud be praying it to be not as bad as the last year. a li'l difference in choice of the words but they represent your absolute fear and absolute uncertainty of times ahead.
The times that i have had last year have been full of ups and downs.
If i jus prayed that this year would be better than the last then it would be an insult to god or showing me an amazing time in life.. This year, that moment, those friends, that smile will stay there, frozen.. It would never be the same again. I may not feel the same joy for a bigger achievement, i may not feel the same love for a fellow mate, a fellow human being. I may never have a dog again (i had one for 2 days).. jus being positive doesn help. Honestly, if we were all just positives, then the concept of negative numbers would have never existed.. There would be no love because there would be no hate. Its all relative. Who loves me MORE, what shines brighter, Which currency is values MORE.
All i need from the new year is MORE. No i don want MORE i want the same life.. When u ask for more, it also means MORE sufferings, MORE pain. Theres nothing like a free lunch. Somebody has to be sad for your happiness. I got a job , i am happy but somebody is sad because they cudn't.
I got the best gal friend but some one is sad because he thought he loved her MORE than me..
Its bizzare, this concept of MORE. 1 MORE year, so what. Why are you so excited about the new year. Not like you made the last one count. If u did then why worry about the coning one. bask in the glory of past and take one day as it comes, 1 MORE day.
I dont even to put up an new status coz i m sure it will be lost in the sea of updates that people are putting up.
I am here, at sea, wonderign what MORE people are doin at home, different than me. WE had good food, good comfy bed, good life.. I sit admist ocean waves, a sky filled with stars with never seizes to amaze me, a glorious day at work to look forward to..
I hope this new year, people hope to make this world better place. I hope this new year i make good on my words. I hope this new year i am more of a man than i have been. i hope this new year i can make u smile jus one MORE time...

Mistakes in a hope

Ever wondered how we hope for the good things in life and imagine them to last forever..
I come from a conservative country but when i see the epeople from th emodern world, how the fall in love and they fall out as quickly. Why do we begin with the thought that its gonna last forever (read till we die) when it won't .. hell, it doesn over last for a week at times.
Why do things have to last forever for us to give us a sense of comfprt. wont it be easy if we cud jus hope it wud last for few more moments..
We spend the present , worryign about future and well it makes me sad.
we wish our love would last forever and then we see the hot chick with absolutely amazing knockers and the love flies out of the window. And crying, whining, grumping are a side-effect..
whats with forever, we shud have a more believable word like forweek, foramonth...

Back to my original thought process,
Have you ever thought that may be everything around you is an illusion. How do u reckon Murphy's law exists. We make it exists. we make things happen. If thats true then we create out reality and if we do that, then this must be a dream or the manifestation of our mind. Now thats goona bring a lot of criticism from a lot of so called OPTIMISTS.
Think about it, why people whoi believe in the power of sub-concious mind fare so much better in this world of more wrongs than rights, more murphy's law then a lunatic optimist.
I am confused for i always thought i was an optimist. And challenginf myself seems like a nice change..
But for those who never thougth about it, its a food for thought.

friend

So far away from home I am
I faintly miss the friend i called Sam
All the days i spent a while ago
Seems like will take me forever to go
As the sun returned to the south
I hoped the loving words would come to my mouth
I waited for a message, phone or email
here, in a hurry, my ship is setting sail
I asked my captain if we could wait,
a few more moments with my eyes on the gate
As the thoughts stopped, my head felt dizzy
I could see the men in crew getting busy
As they do, They cast off the ropes
why do i sense a similarity with my hopes
Now I am far away from home I am
And I never hear from the friend they call sam.

थे फोर्गोत्तें friend

So far away from home I am
I faintly miss the friend i called Sam
All the days i spent a while ago
Seems like will take me forever to go
As the sun returned to the south
I hoped the loving words would come to my mouth
I waited for a message, phone or email
here, in a hurry, my ship is setting sail
I asked my captain if we could wait,
a few more moments with my eyes on the gate
As the thoughts stopped, my head felt dizzy
I could see the men in crew getting busy
As they do, They cast off the ropes
why do i sense a similarity with my hopes
Now I am far away from home I am
And I never hear from the friend they call sam.

थे फोर्गोत्तें friend

So far away from home I am
I faintly miss the friend i called Sam
All the days i spent a while ago
Seems like will take me forever to go
As the sun returned to the south
I hoped the loving words would come to my mouth
I waited for a message, phone or email
here, in a hurry, my ship is setting sail
I asked my captain if we could wait,
a few more moments with my eyes on the gate
As the thoughts stopped, my head felt dizzy
I could see the men in crew getting busy
As they do, They cast off the ropes
why do i sense a similarity with my hopes
Now I am far away from home I am
And I never hear from the friend they call sam.

स्टोरी ऑफ़ थे man

Here is the story of a man,
who thought who did almost all he can.
all he could dream and all he could push and pull
he exhausted, we thought, his wells to the full
he stood his grounds for his morals were sound
but aint easy when life comes one full round
he was a kid who sung their tunes
he worshipped them heroes like old lunes
he followed the roads told and travelled
and grew to be a man who would do all he can
A rebel for i cant decided if he was without cause
for his victory was their loss but his loss my loss
He battled them long tirlessly and diligently
he never knew his beliefs meant less aristotally
He grew old, tired, bitter and cold
like a farmer who lost his sell after it was sold
he lives and lived those moments which had him sane
For the stone they gave cud not be more insane
He knew his thoughts wudn mean no much
can't remember what he tought his son as such
But one day the son will be a man
A man who will learn to do all he can.

I Look at you through some disarrayed hair,
I am still here while you are out there.
on the road or cruising the sea
being me has never been easy.
Words for those unspoken truth i conceal
the tarnished mirror of my unfelt feeling
As if the rains were not enough to make me run,
you send the storms, the wind and the sun.
Lost in the way of things we fought for
serene but charmed is what we look for.
Dodging a thousand bees for adrop of honey,
the next step will begin my journey,
the epilogue of the memoirs of a yearning..

Sometimes

Sometimes these days don't pass like they do,
Sometimes I miss myself more than i miss you.
Sometimes I wanna have whiskey but i have gin instead,
Sometimes I risk more than i can ever losse with it.
Sometimes I drive faster than markings on my speedometer,
Sometimes I break when i should press the accelerator.
Sometimes I miss clues easier than a kiss,
Sometimes I fuck things up more than my bliss.
Sometimes there are more colors than i should see in a rainbow,
Sometimes I open and eat the parcel at a take and go.
Sometimes I miss the alphabets more than the words,
Sometimes I miss the heat more than the gusts.
Sometimes the stars shine brighter than the moon,
Sometimes I wake up at midnight while its still afternoon.
Sometimes I am more blinded than i could ever see,
Sometimes I am more broken than my integrity.
Sometimes I feel lonely even in a party,
Sometimes are those times when i miss u honey.

Nothing matters after the song

I am up early trying to figure out how and why is this morning so dull.. would it be ok if i went for a jog??? I don't want to but cant't convince myself for doin otherwise.. I remember telling everyone that everything that should be tomorrow must start today somewhere even if only at some microscopic level or may be read it somewhere.

My father says i shall have two sons like me. :))))))

Now the point is whether he's too proud or has he lost hope in his ability to control me. May be he thinks i m twice as capable of handling rebellious teenagers as he is. either ways I really cant think about it too much.. Now i realize why i secretly revolted the idea of not being with people who make your life easier. I feared i would do the exact same things, scream like they do, walk out like they do and wish i was not...

Fuck the ideas and get real. Lets live but when i do get to the living part the question is - Is my idea of living the correct idea of living. Am i suppose to be the focal point of my life or should i be the mirror, difficult comprehension.

But how does it all matter once i am gone, how does it matter what the world is, how does the matter how many smiles or how many frowns i inflicted upon my people.

Because there is no music After the song ....

Conversation among mates

I told my friend you had all the kicks,

He said you are indeed a looker from the pics.

I said i had you close your eyes,

He said must have after she saw your size.

I said i had you cry and i had You moan,

he said it must've been from the heavens i'd shown.

I said you don't like me anymore,

He said its because you are still very sore.

I told him you aint coming back,

He said bro that's the end coz after all you ain't black.

All Expectations

Just looking at your face for a smile,

To enable this soul to travel another mile.

I wake before you open your eyes n are awake,

To see you smile for the dreams i make.

I sleep after you are so far deep asleep,

For the promises i made and i'd like to keep.

I walk slow to keep pace with you,

I know i can win this race if i'm with you.

Like to show you things you never saw,

You make my religion, my reason, my law.

And i say all these words i say,

hoping you'll remember me when you go away.

Shed a tear or smile the way,

like the way i would when someday this story i'd say..

the future and the battle lost in it

Phew!!! How has the world turned around in the last few minutes.. You must have heard of the feeling when time slows down and everything around you moves slowly. I have had a similar but different feeling, I feel that the future is slowing down. Weird isn’t it?? I asked myself how the future could slows down, it does not have any could speed? But then if only we could understand everything. And some things are better felt than understood.

A mere goodbye from the past can change our welcomes in the future. A kiss could change the way we love, a hug could change the way I feel about myself, a look can change me to a better man, a smile can bring sunshine to my rainy day.

Aren’t there times when you give up on a future battle because the past betrayed you of the simplicity of war? Aren’t there times when you simply let go because holding on was too easy? Haven’t you thought of the reason for the exasperation caused by this constant turmoil of the lost soul of the human cause? Words don’t make sense when spoken for no cause. A man’s cause is not the one he thought would be, but the one he knows would be the difference between his satisfaction and regrets.

Looking out of this window, I knew I would be different. I dread the future now like they did then. I understand the constant refusal of the brain’s logic to work against the rules of practicality. Life isn’t easy but then we never liked simple things. May be we never wanted to understand the simplicity of war because wars have no rules. And as I have said earlier, rules are the manifestation of the weak mind.

love explained..courtsey - incubus

It's almost a little bit of a cliché. It is talking about the idea of love and find love and having it be purity and having it not be tainted by your misperceptions, misconceptions, expectations and transcending the sort of more worldly aspects of the love experience.

Hmmm.. how do u judge the perfection of the silver lining among the dark clouds?

How would u judge the chirping of birds or falling of rain drops or sunshine on a winter day???

how would u judge the serenity of the view from a mountain top or the chaos in a beating heart..

How would u judge the modesty of a young boy??

how would u judge the degree of freedom when a bird opens it wings and flies off in the open skies??

How would u judge the innocence of a kid when he steals a cookie???

How would u judge someone who loses their sleep for someone?

How would u judge a hot summer day from a cold winter night??

if u can't Judge all this , then why in the name of all the million gods, judge people u don't know a fuck about???

GET REAL PEOPLE .. LIVE LIKE YOU GONNA LIVE JUST TODAY!!!

running stupidly like an errand run by a stupid

There are so many thoughts in my head that all i can think now is that there r so many thoughts in my head.

It's been a roller coaster ride for the last few days, may be weeks may be years..

It’s a haze now, the time that has past and gone. The time that seems to have left me desolate.

The time that seems to be so full of chaos, disorganization.

But the bottom line being that it is so because it was too organized almost going against the nature's plan..

So organized that it makes all hitler's generals a bunch of dis oriented fools who shud've died, on the day of their births for they couldn't understand that a young mind should be allowed to live forever.

A whirlpool of thoughts that buries and drowns the most mind numbing issues someone 'mature' would want me to concern myself with.

Its almost frustrating, but then may be its just the way life plays out, to fall into the same conversations, playing the same games ,walking the same lines, dusting the same shelves, eating the same evolutionary bread, feeling the same stupid feelings.. its all the same , always..

i have read somewhere (which I remember where but I don't want to quote from where because I don't want the ignorant minds to quote it in future), that I don't play games, because it seems a waste of time to have a rivalry over something which is governed by rules. We make rules because it keeps us from surprises.

Rules keep the mind from wandering beyond the unknown, from exploring what could be, a better day, a better life, a better tomorrow.

Stuck between these rules and the precautions we take to restrict ourselves within so well thought misunderstood boundaries, I m confused.

Putting me out there was easy when I knew, not the rules, but the possibility of stumbling upon or being hit upon a storm of sand that would terminate the boundaries. But when we know about the stronger possibility of being run over every time then it’s not so easy after all… but I know we’ll have to do it for all our lives.