my friend u r desirable, trust me u r.
if u r not sure, then there r chaces ur naive like me..
Sometime life's like my town's weather.. it never rained so much, but when it did it was raining, rather pouring.. it has never rained like this. But rain shows things that we never imagined.. it washes down the waste, old dust, hide outs and old memories come out getting greener.
the whole town is confused and scared of this rain. it was hot all these years but what made it rain so hard is still a mystery.
some preety bimbo will think u r the smartest guy around when in fact u r a big jerk..
coz if u were smart u wud be dying over some gal while there r ten's of other gals who r swooning over u.
anyways, new people will have a new way of thinking about u and they will give u hope..
They give u a purpose u r not looking for, a new wild chase which will end with another stranger.
i m not trying to be negative but sometimes life is like a black man's left ball.. neither fair nor right...
but these new guns r important to keep the battle on..
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
The changing me and the changing world
I m already feelin gth eheat, of the changing generation. the generation gap has arrived.
I was talking to some kid cousins and i realized that how different their life is from ours.
I love dal bati churma, a rajasthani dish but these children opted for kurkure over it. i was shocked i felt like i aged 20 yrs in a second. I felt old and odd and mature. Because I was now walking in my elders's shoes. They also think the same way and we react the same way. Its a cycle, wat goes around comes around. I feel deprived of all my childhood pleasures owing jus to the fact that i m growing up.
My looks have changed so much since the last time i could attenda cousin's wedding that people are wondering who i am, everytime i see someone, some relative.
Their words though remain same - 'arre!! u have become so thin, don't u get food ? wat did u do to loose all the weight. looking smart" and on on and on..
people think about you and then they rethink about u or forget about you.
Change makes them think , makes them realize your presence, otherwise you are like the wheel spoke, noone cares ubtil u break or distort..
I was talking to some kid cousins and i realized that how different their life is from ours.
I love dal bati churma, a rajasthani dish but these children opted for kurkure over it. i was shocked i felt like i aged 20 yrs in a second. I felt old and odd and mature. Because I was now walking in my elders's shoes. They also think the same way and we react the same way. Its a cycle, wat goes around comes around. I feel deprived of all my childhood pleasures owing jus to the fact that i m growing up.
My looks have changed so much since the last time i could attenda cousin's wedding that people are wondering who i am, everytime i see someone, some relative.
Their words though remain same - 'arre!! u have become so thin, don't u get food ? wat did u do to loose all the weight. looking smart" and on on and on..
people think about you and then they rethink about u or forget about you.
Change makes them think , makes them realize your presence, otherwise you are like the wheel spoke, noone cares ubtil u break or distort..
Friday, June 13, 2008
The truth about me
Hello people,
Today i met up an old old crush more than a friend.
It was funny, coz it wasn't the same when we were together long bak
She told me that i deserved better and that it was all because of my impatience.
I agree, i was always in a hurry, not that i know it todaay.
I've always known it, accpetance is the key.
It was good the thruth of the present. I loked better than before but then i knoew this too but my eyes shone when she said it.
I Am good at heart and that i m on outside what i m on inside.
But then i wonder y i wonder where u r?
Lost i m and that's the truth about me...
Today i met up an old old crush more than a friend.
It was funny, coz it wasn't the same when we were together long bak
She told me that i deserved better and that it was all because of my impatience.
I agree, i was always in a hurry, not that i know it todaay.
I've always known it, accpetance is the key.
It was good the thruth of the present. I loked better than before but then i knoew this too but my eyes shone when she said it.
I Am good at heart and that i m on outside what i m on inside.
But then i wonder y i wonder where u r?
Lost i m and that's the truth about me...
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
old flames..
we have all been down that lane, where we meet an old flame.
Someone who created sparks everytime u thought of them, someone who had this fire of passion about them.
When i do meet someone , an old flame i wish i could avenge the break up , hurt them and give them a reality check (i believe i m good).
I could never figure out, firstly to get out of a relation and then how to be friends or enemies with an ex. How could u hate someone u liked, loved or cared about.
I meet old friends i feel good, i meet ex flame i feel joyous and victorious..
Its weird, but then i don have an ex.. he he he.. That's the whole point..
But we all have liked , loved someone unsuccessfully.
Unsuccessfully because it wasn resiprocated.
But now we meet with a broad smile and mysterious eyes..Wat's that i ask?
But old is old and the older the fir the brighter it burns at times and the coals are the hottest.
Also old flames are best to keep ur gal friends on their toes.
"Make sure you love what you have or you'll be an old flame"
Someone who created sparks everytime u thought of them, someone who had this fire of passion about them.
When i do meet someone , an old flame i wish i could avenge the break up , hurt them and give them a reality check (i believe i m good).
I could never figure out, firstly to get out of a relation and then how to be friends or enemies with an ex. How could u hate someone u liked, loved or cared about.
I meet old friends i feel good, i meet ex flame i feel joyous and victorious..
Its weird, but then i don have an ex.. he he he.. That's the whole point..
But we all have liked , loved someone unsuccessfully.
Unsuccessfully because it wasn resiprocated.
But now we meet with a broad smile and mysterious eyes..Wat's that i ask?
But old is old and the older the fir the brighter it burns at times and the coals are the hottest.
Also old flames are best to keep ur gal friends on their toes.
"Make sure you love what you have or you'll be an old flame"
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
time brakes
Have you ever wondered, if we could travel in time? I am sure we all have at times wanted to look into the future or go back in the past and undo and possibly redo certain things.
But is it not possible that it would change the course of life for us and those around us.Like the butterfly effect.
The day started as nothing i had planned till few days earlier.
I didn't want to get up late and go gym in the evening but so happened that i got up late, slept thru the afternoon and did go to the gymnasium in the evening.
In all of this do you see the point that the world jus continued doing wat it was doing and gujjars were still acting stubborn and i still can't buy a house and i still don't love anyone else.
time flew past me i couldn't do a shit about it..But what would i do if i could. We all know wat we want to do but then we don't do it for no apparent reason.
Why can't we live longer in every moment like there's no time but only days and night and they too are not a measure of time. If we decide to sit by the window all night and sleep all day the clock will still keep ticking.
If i could go back in time i would undo the goods and redo the rebel acts, coz that's wat would define me.
If i could go in future then i would see the people and what they become to be.
But if only i could do one thing for all these things i would never fall in love because then time would stop still and i would be stranded in this continuum... forever...
But is it not possible that it would change the course of life for us and those around us.Like the butterfly effect.
The day started as nothing i had planned till few days earlier.
I didn't want to get up late and go gym in the evening but so happened that i got up late, slept thru the afternoon and did go to the gymnasium in the evening.
In all of this do you see the point that the world jus continued doing wat it was doing and gujjars were still acting stubborn and i still can't buy a house and i still don't love anyone else.
time flew past me i couldn't do a shit about it..But what would i do if i could. We all know wat we want to do but then we don't do it for no apparent reason.
Why can't we live longer in every moment like there's no time but only days and night and they too are not a measure of time. If we decide to sit by the window all night and sleep all day the clock will still keep ticking.
If i could go back in time i would undo the goods and redo the rebel acts, coz that's wat would define me.
If i could go in future then i would see the people and what they become to be.
But if only i could do one thing for all these things i would never fall in love because then time would stop still and i would be stranded in this continuum... forever...
Monday, June 9, 2008
unbelievable and inconvinient truth
hey people,
aren't we all aware of the inconvinient truth situation. Everyone knows it but no one wants to believe it and those who do they want it to be true coz now anyother truth would be too much of a confusion.
Sometimes we tend to believe things which may or maynot exist. Some say ghosts exist and they claim to have seen it.
I have never seen one but yes the ghost of the past haunts my life.
Its the unbelievable truth which they believe.
Sometimes when we can't do anything about the situation we believe igt is permanent but we forget nothing is permanent. Now u'll argue on love and god, LOve increases or decreases and so does god with every new believer (a new human).
God exists in parts, we are those parts.We contain god, we make and break the mould everyday.
God is a convinient truth and easy to believe.
So we believe it and want others to believe our truth because then it would be so comfortable to have same illusions of reality.
The perception of failure makes us, to literally, invent our truths.
To me your truth is as inconvinient and unbelievable as the shephard to the villagers.
aren't we all aware of the inconvinient truth situation. Everyone knows it but no one wants to believe it and those who do they want it to be true coz now anyother truth would be too much of a confusion.
Sometimes we tend to believe things which may or maynot exist. Some say ghosts exist and they claim to have seen it.
I have never seen one but yes the ghost of the past haunts my life.
Its the unbelievable truth which they believe.
Sometimes when we can't do anything about the situation we believe igt is permanent but we forget nothing is permanent. Now u'll argue on love and god, LOve increases or decreases and so does god with every new believer (a new human).
God exists in parts, we are those parts.We contain god, we make and break the mould everyday.
God is a convinient truth and easy to believe.
So we believe it and want others to believe our truth because then it would be so comfortable to have same illusions of reality.
The perception of failure makes us, to literally, invent our truths.
To me your truth is as inconvinient and unbelievable as the shephard to the villagers.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
uncertainity rules fate
Yestaerday soon after i finished the blog, i went to sleep but before i could slumber into deep sleep my sister came running into the room saying some gal's father died. I rushed i wasnt sure if i heard it right. So i asked again and there was numbness around me for a second.
I put ma pants on and took money and left for delhi right then to drop the li'l gal to the airport.
I wasn't sad so to say for some reason but i felt sorry for the girl's loss.
It was inevitable, but no body had thought that the song she was singing in the song would soon bring a far reached sadness to her. No mom, no dad, an uncaring brother.
Why her god ?, s everyone's question that night..
I had not exactly planned the next day but traveeling like tat was definitely not on the list.
I was thinking of thousandd of things which could happen now. Like Miss A reconsidering the whole issue considering me kinder than she had known.
Uncertainity ruled fate, planning and every such thing.
It's been 3 days since i've slept properly. Fels weird but then i know now how it actually is to loose sleep over someone.
I could live without you but how, i don't know.
This heart doen't make marry without you.
If someone gives me poison i'll accept it readily, i'll tolerate everything and live in any condition but i can't live without you.
It hurts like hell when you are not there.
Without you life is a curse, a sentence to death which is non sense , how can one person do so many things to you. Well i guess they can if that person is you....
I put ma pants on and took money and left for delhi right then to drop the li'l gal to the airport.
I wasn't sad so to say for some reason but i felt sorry for the girl's loss.
It was inevitable, but no body had thought that the song she was singing in the song would soon bring a far reached sadness to her. No mom, no dad, an uncaring brother.
Why her god ?, s everyone's question that night..
I had not exactly planned the next day but traveeling like tat was definitely not on the list.
I was thinking of thousandd of things which could happen now. Like Miss A reconsidering the whole issue considering me kinder than she had known.
Uncertainity ruled fate, planning and every such thing.
It's been 3 days since i've slept properly. Fels weird but then i know now how it actually is to loose sleep over someone.
I could live without you but how, i don't know.
This heart doen't make marry without you.
If someone gives me poison i'll accept it readily, i'll tolerate everything and live in any condition but i can't live without you.
It hurts like hell when you are not there.
Without you life is a curse, a sentence to death which is non sense , how can one person do so many things to you. Well i guess they can if that person is you....
Friday, June 6, 2008
Ignorance is Bliss
I m talking of the days when we used to be crazy, free, careless.we were crazy about each other, we were madly in love, we were blissfully ignorant, we spent days thinking about each other, those were the days.we talked , we listened, we cried and laughed whenever we parted ways, we liked everyhting, it was a glorious story of the days when we were defiant.
whenever we met in solitude our hearts beat faster and we were awake when the world slept.
We sang songs when we couldn't see each other and tell ourselves stories of love and future. We were lovers , we craved each other for company, those were the days.
Today this world seems the same but there is a sea of uncertainties between us divides us.Not a dream could have been this bad and the future is more dreadful for now.
For wat is to come is unseen and as they say that a known enemy is better than an unknown friend.
Till the world didn know ma world was blissfully ignorant and thus happy.Sadness creeps in only when u decide to care about everyone else.
Keep counting your blessings, they are like shooting stars make a wish everytime u count one.
In this world its a sin to dream creatively and those who do they are condemned, forsaken in the eyes of wretched mortals.
People be Ignorant and live in BLISS.
whenever we met in solitude our hearts beat faster and we were awake when the world slept.
We sang songs when we couldn't see each other and tell ourselves stories of love and future. We were lovers , we craved each other for company, those were the days.
Today this world seems the same but there is a sea of uncertainties between us divides us.Not a dream could have been this bad and the future is more dreadful for now.
For wat is to come is unseen and as they say that a known enemy is better than an unknown friend.
Till the world didn know ma world was blissfully ignorant and thus happy.Sadness creeps in only when u decide to care about everyone else.
Keep counting your blessings, they are like shooting stars make a wish everytime u count one.
In this world its a sin to dream creatively and those who do they are condemned, forsaken in the eyes of wretched mortals.
People be Ignorant and live in BLISS.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
happiness and heaven
Wat's heaven, jannat, all tat?
christianity says heaven is god's kingdom where u get 100 virgins if u do the good stuff on earth..
interesting, quite a bribe for a young man like me.
topping that is hindu mythology with swarg having apsaras and somras..
And you blame the poor man for corruption.
Its a built in virus..
Well why should i be bothered. or should i be?
i m a sailor, i jus seek my HAVEN, my place of peace..
I don't want 100 virgins , for that matter i don't need any virgin gal or otherwise i need someone i care about who can bring the boat to my haven..
Now shall i be feeling guilty for seeking my heaven here?
Shall i be sorry for all that i could have been?
Na, no no, not worth it.
I asked a friend why we were born and what was the purpose of life
He told me that we are more intelligent than animals for a simple reason so that we can find joy in the simple things of life.. so that we can be happy...
Happiness is heaven so to say we want heaven to be happy when we are no longer in this world of pain and suffering..
I find happiness in wishing people birthdays in different manner, u know make them feel special..they might not always be amused.
Miss A got pissed when i tried to say that i wished she had an extraordinary birthday all because i used the word 'supercalifragilisticexpielidocious' .. phew! wat a disastrous way of wishing someone..
well all said and done we make choices and choices make us happy, we need to be happy in choices we make, whether good , bad and ugly.
When i was watching this movie 'jannat' a while ago i thought i was being a fool for being stuck on someone but then i realized how crazy i've been all my life(and still am) about things i liked liked, loved and all that and its reeally about that one person who makes your life JANNAT...
christianity says heaven is god's kingdom where u get 100 virgins if u do the good stuff on earth..
interesting, quite a bribe for a young man like me.
topping that is hindu mythology with swarg having apsaras and somras..
And you blame the poor man for corruption.
Its a built in virus..
Well why should i be bothered. or should i be?
i m a sailor, i jus seek my HAVEN, my place of peace..
I don't want 100 virgins , for that matter i don't need any virgin gal or otherwise i need someone i care about who can bring the boat to my haven..
Now shall i be feeling guilty for seeking my heaven here?
Shall i be sorry for all that i could have been?
Na, no no, not worth it.
I asked a friend why we were born and what was the purpose of life
He told me that we are more intelligent than animals for a simple reason so that we can find joy in the simple things of life.. so that we can be happy...
Happiness is heaven so to say we want heaven to be happy when we are no longer in this world of pain and suffering..
I find happiness in wishing people birthdays in different manner, u know make them feel special..they might not always be amused.
Miss A got pissed when i tried to say that i wished she had an extraordinary birthday all because i used the word 'supercalifragilisticexpielidocious' .. phew! wat a disastrous way of wishing someone..
well all said and done we make choices and choices make us happy, we need to be happy in choices we make, whether good , bad and ugly.
When i was watching this movie 'jannat' a while ago i thought i was being a fool for being stuck on someone but then i realized how crazy i've been all my life(and still am) about things i liked liked, loved and all that and its reeally about that one person who makes your life JANNAT...
so long so long
hmmm.. wasn't that long ago when i was happy and my friend told me perhaps i was lucky too.But say hello to life, it keeps changing.. change is refreshing , not always. change can be pathetic, and disappointing.Now why do i blog if not only its a way to let myself be explained, explanation isn't necessary but its not for the worldthat i explain but to my indivisual shadowed self.There can be better ways but well they may fail so this quest continues to overcome this inner turmoil.have u ever felt lost in the crowd ? i havehave u felt sorry for being happy? i havehave u fallen outta love? i haven'tso is this all about a love failure, indeed we all need an inspiration.Not quite the choice i wud want to make for an inspiration but then you can't control everything.i m no god for christ sake. Now they even say that christ is personification of some belief of sun and zodiacs and all that.but so long it has been sice i met god.but so long it has been since i wanted to give up.and so long it has been since i've lost hope.so long so long.....
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